Monthly Archives: June 2012

Wait, what?!

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Yep, had three of those moments today.

Went to the Dr to have a mole removed (eww gross, I know) and right before I got the numbing shot my doctor says “This is gonna hurt like hell!”  My immediate thought was “Wait, what?!”  None of this “It’s gonna sting for just a second” or “you’ll barely feel this…”  I mean where is my doctor who tells lies and gives false expectations?????

Then it gets worse, the numbing shot didn’t work. Which led directly into my second “WAIT, WHAT?!” moment of the day.

Leaving the doctor’s office I was still a bit distracted by my inner thought process of what just went down….I walked calmly to the elevator and pulled out these….

I then proceeded to press the unlock button while pointed toward this…..

And like the intelligent person I am, I waited for this to open.

Wait, what?!

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MIA

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Sorry to get started on this blog and then leave you hanging, I promise there are lots of laughs to come!  You know those laughs like when you’re watching Friends and you start to chuckle…look around…and realize you’re sitting there alone…or is that just me?

If you’re wondering where I’ve been let me explain in a way everyone will understand.

Adam and Cheri, sitting in a tree…

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

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First came love

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Then came marriage,

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Then came the baby in the baby carriage…

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That’s not all, that’s not all.

All night long he’ll cry and bawl!

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ENOUGH SAID????

We’re engaged! Oh, wait…no we’re not…

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I was taking a walk down facebook memory lane and came across some nearly forgotten pictures. You see, my bald boyfriend and I had decided to get married.  Yeah!!  Only kicker was that he hadn’t proposed because it was all planned out and he wanted it to be perfect.  Yea, whatev just ask me already!

So during Spring Break (remember I was a teacher so I still had those awesome breaks!) we drove down to Fort Worth for our dear friends’ wedding.  I expected this to only be a memorable night for the newly wedded couple, I was wrong.

Ceremony was beautiful and then we moved on to the reception. It was time for the groom to toss the garter and who caught it but none other but my bald headed luvah! How fun!

Next, it was time to catch the bouquet. As I walked to the front of the room to line up with the other single ladies my mind began to race…what if this was it…what if he planned this moment for us to get engaged at his bestfriend’s wedding…eek!  I stood there super nervous.  The bride turned and tossed the flowers into the air. I swear to you every other girl stepped away!  I caught it, or rather IT caught me!  My heart began to race.  There my love was standing with the garter and I with the bouquet…our friends and family in the room. I thought I was going to puke! Don’t forget, I’m secretly an introvert and there was a LOT of starring going on.

I played it off and we looked like this

You know what happened next?   Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

It was all seriously a complete coincidence. This left me very confused and had him thinking of scrapping his plan and just proposing that night. The “whoops” moment was when he told another guy he was thinking of proposing that night instead. It was suggested he drop down on one knee once all the guests wave farewell to the happy couple.  Sounds nice right?  Well, he changed his mind and decided to stick with the original plan. No biggie. Except he didn’t tell that guy about the change of heart.

Fast forward to the newlyweds driving off.  The guy makes an announcement to the ENTIRE crowd, “ladies and gentlemen, the best man has something special he would like to do right now.”  Picture the bald man, wide-eyed, fake-smiling and making the “slit your throat” signal to the man to make him stop.  Didn’t work.

So he drops down on one knee.

He starts to mumble a proposal while also saying “no, this is NOT what I wanted…” as well.  As if I wasn’t already confused enough from earlier.

Wait, what??  Are you breaking up with me or proposing??


Okay, so…no then?

And now is when we smile for the camera and pretend this is the happiest moment of our lives.

Can you see the anxiety in his eyes?!

We drove 4 hours home in nearly complete silence. Well, not home really. We drove to my mom’s farm where on the way we hit a deer and got pulled over twice and harassed over the alcohol on our breath.  No! We weren’t drinking and driving, we hadn’t drank a single drop. Stupid highway patrol.

What a night!

I won’t end the story there though.  Sunday morning on the farm we woke up and did this….

Followed by 4-wheelers down to the river where he sang to me my fav Randy Travis song “Forever and Ever Amen.”  It was then he made it official. And it was perfect, just like me. just like our love.

The girl with no pants.

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Okay, so since we’re just getting to know each other I should tell you something…I’m actually an introvert. I basically dread social situations and chaos. Some might think I’m rude or stuck up because I don’t always say much if I’m just meeting them, but I PROMISE it’s me, not you.  Part of my introvertedness (real word as of…now) is that I sit back and observe and analyze (really over analyze) everything.  Unfortunately I’m also somewhat witty and run jokes through my sick mind nearly non-stop. Fortunately for the bald one, he gets to hear some of these thoughts, opinions and jokes.

To continue to set up this situation I should also tell you that throughout my entire life people have told me I speak way too quietly and no one can ever hear me.  Then things changed and I didn’t really realize it. I spent the last three years of my life as a 2nd Grade teacher and everyone knows about the “teacher voice.”  The real disaster occurs when I assume people still can’t hear me when I speak while in actuality, everyone can. Whoops!  To my defense though, no one ever told me this change occurred! No one until my husband came along.

The first time he brought this to my attention is when we were taking a leisurely stroll in a cute little town while on vacation with his family last year.  We were goofing off and…WAIT, FATHER IN LAW, STOP READING HERE. I’LL TELL YOU WHEN TO START AGAIN…  I made some dirty joke and followed it by something else that would be said from a frisky wife to a soon-to-be happy husband.  It was then that the bald man’s face turned red and he swore up and down that his dad, sitting a not so far distance away, totally heard me. My bad, I thought I was being quiet.

OKAY YOU CAN START READING AGAIN HERE.

So all this to better tell you the very short story about the girl with no pants.  Here’s the thing, remember I watch people and I notice things….like when a girl forgets to put pants on.

You see this is not a dress…

and this…also NOT a dress.

So when the girl walking in front of us at a local festival the other day was wearing a top similar to these without any pants I instantly felt bad for her. In that split second my mind went straight to those dreams we all have where we totally forget to put on a very important item of clothing and suddenly we’re at school or work and there is nothing we can do to cover up! You know I’m not the only one with those dreams, admit it. I thought, oh my goodness, this poor girl is actually living that dream!  I may have said something very quietly about the pantsless girl to my husband, I am sure she didn’t hear me. No big deal right? Well then my husband, who thinks she may have heard me, turns his head the complete other direction and says “huh?”  He tells me later that he was trying to play it all off so she didn’t know it was her I was talking about (she wouldn’t fall for it anyway, she knows she’s the only one without pants).  But, knowing how my husband often doesn’t listen to me and seeing him look the wrong way and say “huh?” only prompts me to now point to the pantsless girl, as if it wasn’t obvious, and repeat my earlier comment even louder.  This is when he got tight lipped, wide-eyed and walked slightly away from me so as to not be associated with me since he just “knows” she heard.

Oh well, put your pants on, there are children present.

A penny saved is a penny earned…even if that penny is covered in poo.

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Jamison will be 5 weeks old tomorrow, which means I’ve been cloth diapering for about 3 weeks….which also means I’m basically an expert at this point. Right?

Well, the topic has come up at many-a-social-gathering so I thought I’d talk a little on the subject.

We waited about two weeks to start using cloth because it was foreign to us and we had enough newness to be caught up worrying about “Is it cold rinse or hot rinse? and When do I put in the detergent???”  Plus, we waited til the 8th day to circumcise and we wanted him to be all healed up because you can’t let many other products like neosporin, vaseline or what not get on the cloth or it won’t absorb so well.

When it came to our choice to do this, many of our family and friends were less than encouraging, no surprise there.  Yes, I know you can get cheapo off-brand diapers and not spend $$$ every week. But I would rather save even that $20 I would’ve spent on diapers and go out to lunch OR buy something cute at Target OR go to the Zoo. Besides I’m not making any of those people change the dirty diapers anyway so secretly I think they are jealous…hee hee!

Much to my surprise its actually super easy!  Cloth diapering verbage can be pretty confusing for anyone outside of the cult  game. But basically we use the “pocket” ones, those work just like normal disposable diapers, as in you change the entire diaper each time and start fresh. I love them at night because the insert that you place inside the pocket does a great job of pulling the moisture from his skin. They make SUPER cute ones too!!

We also use Prefolds with a waterproof (grossproof) cover.  I use these mostly at home because right now I only have two covers.  You can use the same cover all the day long until that precious little one explodes his “preciousness” all over the cover itself and it needs to be washed.  Not a huge fan of using them out and about because while one might assume that preciousness wouldn’t become a huge mess more than TWICE in one day’s outings, it has happened and I was left without a cover…EEK!  You can use the prefolds the old-school way too, but they obviously will only work as long as it takes for the preciousness to soak through the cloth.  Not a fan of that in the carseat, however it’s great to wear while waiting to get him into the bath and avoiding preciousness all over my bathroom.

   

And here is Mr. J rockin’ it old school, waiting for bath time.

 P.S. This is what a three week old looks like when he comes from my womb!

Lots of babies at the Zoo were left in just a diaper (um,weird) or a top and diaper (completely acceptable considering the heat). However, the difference between those babies and mine is that mine looked far less white-trash…just sayin.

 Not that anyone could see him anyway since I had him covered and out of the direct sun the entire time. Just a note for those who want to point out that I’m burning my son’s right leg, it was like FIVE SECONDS!

So yes, my saved pennies might be covered in poo. No, I’m not some hippie although I do feel proud to not be contributing to the insane amount of diaper waste in landfills. And yes, I know we’re still using a little extra water, blah blah blah…pretty sure that in America the use of tap water is far less of a threat than the amount of waste we produce so whatev.  I’m not a cloth diapering advocate, so no, I’m not going to sit at some podium and debate cloth vs. disposables.  I have done some research, but in-depth research requires a lot of reading and lets be honest…I hate reading much more than the captions under a picture. So there.  The Pratts use cloth diapers and we’re happy about it.

I see you looking at me

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Why hello there!

A friend planted the idea in my head to start a blog and with the encouragement of others, here I am! I’ll be talking about family, friends and hopefully a whole lot of humor. No, I don’t really know anything about blogging. Heck, I can barely work this crazy new phone and I live day to day with the terror that Facebook will find me out and switch me to Timeline. Thus, rendering me clueless on the one internet thingy I can manage! So here we go.  I’ll be writing the content, but honestly my bald-headed love and his fam will be the ones making it come to life.  My love will probably make the silly comment about me learning to work the computer for myself and blah blah blah….  But lets be honest, he loves me way too much to make me do such a horrible thing.

Runnin a Muck???    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Running_amok

The phrase makes perfect sense to me! However, the bald one is convinced that I am the only person who says it. So my first challenge to you is to say “Runnin a Muck!”  No, for reals! Right now, out loud, say it, love it, embrace it! Say it with humor, with anger, say it in the midst of complete exhaustion. However you say it, it is almost always appropriate.  Then, just maybe, my husband may one day be somewhere and hear a complete stranger proclaim with conviction that someone is “Runnin a Muck!”  It will be in that moment that I will forever be filled with giddiness and satisfaction that I have made such a lasting and positive impact on the world. Dramatic much? Nah