The girl with no pants.

Standard

Okay, so since we’re just getting to know each other I should tell you something…I’m actually an introvert. I basically dread social situations and chaos. Some might think I’m rude or stuck up because I don’t always say much if I’m just meeting them, but I PROMISE it’s me, not you.  Part of my introvertedness (real word as of…now) is that I sit back and observe and analyze (really over analyze) everything.  Unfortunately I’m also somewhat witty and run jokes through my sick mind nearly non-stop. Fortunately for the bald one, he gets to hear some of these thoughts, opinions and jokes.

To continue to set up this situation I should also tell you that throughout my entire life people have told me I speak way too quietly and no one can ever hear me.  Then things changed and I didn’t really realize it. I spent the last three years of my life as a 2nd Grade teacher and everyone knows about the “teacher voice.”  The real disaster occurs when I assume people still can’t hear me when I speak while in actuality, everyone can. Whoops!  To my defense though, no one ever told me this change occurred! No one until my husband came along.

The first time he brought this to my attention is when we were taking a leisurely stroll in a cute little town while on vacation with his family last year.  We were goofing off and…WAIT, FATHER IN LAW, STOP READING HERE. I’LL TELL YOU WHEN TO START AGAIN…  I made some dirty joke and followed it by something else that would be said from a frisky wife to a soon-to-be happy husband.  It was then that the bald man’s face turned red and he swore up and down that his dad, sitting a not so far distance away, totally heard me. My bad, I thought I was being quiet.

OKAY YOU CAN START READING AGAIN HERE.

So all this to better tell you the very short story about the girl with no pants.  Here’s the thing, remember I watch people and I notice things….like when a girl forgets to put pants on.

You see this is not a dress…

and this…also NOT a dress.

So when the girl walking in front of us at a local festival the other day was wearing a top similar to these without any pants I instantly felt bad for her. In that split second my mind went straight to those dreams we all have where we totally forget to put on a very important item of clothing and suddenly we’re at school or work and there is nothing we can do to cover up! You know I’m not the only one with those dreams, admit it. I thought, oh my goodness, this poor girl is actually living that dream!  I may have said something very quietly about the pantsless girl to my husband, I am sure she didn’t hear me. No big deal right? Well then my husband, who thinks she may have heard me, turns his head the complete other direction and says “huh?”  He tells me later that he was trying to play it all off so she didn’t know it was her I was talking about (she wouldn’t fall for it anyway, she knows she’s the only one without pants).  But, knowing how my husband often doesn’t listen to me and seeing him look the wrong way and say “huh?” only prompts me to now point to the pantsless girl, as if it wasn’t obvious, and repeat my earlier comment even louder.  This is when he got tight lipped, wide-eyed and walked slightly away from me so as to not be associated with me since he just “knows” she heard.

Oh well, put your pants on, there are children present.

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9 responses »

  1. That is great…not the pantsless part, but the post. Who cares if she heard you or not. She’s lucky it wasn’t me or I’d probably have said something very innocently like, “Excuse me miss. Do you know you’re pants have gone missing?”

  2. THose rompers are a total atrocity and I can’t believe people are actually wearing them. When I was 5, those were really cute. Today, not so much.. No matter how cute, thin, tall, you should NOT be wearing those rompers if you are done having loose teeth. Just. Ew.

  3. Pingback: Wait, What?! pt.2 « Runnin a Muck

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