Monthly Archives: August 2012

What Goes Around Comes Around

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Before I tell you what happened in my home yesterday I need you guys to make me a promise….you can never tell my sweet little redhead that I’m telling you this. Okay, so your promise? Good.  Cause remember when you were growing up and your friend told you a secret and you promised to not tell anyone, but you told your bestfriend because that obviously doesn’t count? Well, you my friend are the bestfriend that doesn’t count.

My sweet little girl always surprises me with what comes out of her mouth.  When she was 3 she asked me if there was a “Yes Vember.”  Huh? A Yes Vember?   She replied with “yea, you know there’s a NOvember…so is there a YESvember?”

Or the other day when she told me that when you say a word again and again it stops sounding like a real word. For example, “toilet, toilet, toilet, toilet, toilet….”  She’s right!

Well yesterday she came strolling in from school and started on her homework. I was laying on the couch feeding baby boy, minding my own business. That’s when it happened. She oh so innocently came up to me and in all sincerity asked…

“Mom, were you born in the olden days?”

“What?! NO!”

“Are you serious? I’m 27, I was hardly born that long ago.”

She replied with “Oh mom, please don’t ever tell anyone I asked that, please…really mom, don’t put it on facebook.”

I laughed and told her that her Grandma was born in the olden days HAHAHA!!

You know in all honesty I should’ve expected this to happen. You see, many (well not THAT many) years ago I was sitting at my grandparents’ house. I remember it vividly….I was in the kitchen at the “old” house, Grandma was making me my eggs while she drank her soda and had her cigarette (only my grandma could make that look classy).  My Grandma had dentures and mom said it was because she ate too much sugar, and if I ate too much sugar I would lose my teeth too….pretty smooth mom.  But what I knew to be true of at least some of her missing teeth was that she was in a car accident when she was younger and her teeth were knocked out. The possibility of this truly confused me though, it just seemed to be an impossible story, so I had to ask.

“Grandma, how did you lose your teeth in a car accident if you only had horses to ride?”

Yep, What Goes Around…..

Comes Around….

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Pinterest Fail

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So with school back in session and me being at home, it has really hit me that I’m not a teacher anymore. Which means we have jumped from two incomes to one.  We looked at our budget the other day and realized that we eat out….A LOT. And when I say a lot I mean we could nearly make a second mortgage with what we spend on groceries and restaurants. EEK!  I decided it was time that I get down to business on this homemaking-budget-slimdown.  Unfortunately just “pinning” on Pinterest doesn’t really count for being a good housewife….turns out you have to DO the pins.

Well Miss Suzy-homemaker right here actually sat down and made my very first weekly meal plan AND bought the necessary grocery items to bring them to life. Woot, woot!  (p.s. I am SO not a good cook, I mean like I’m reaalllyyy bad!)  This on its own should definitely earn me a gold star!

 If anyone would like to send me my very own gold star please email me for my home address, thank ya much!

But wait, it gets better. I MADE LASAGNA!!  And I only filled the kitchen with smoke 3 times before it was finished. Note to self: lasagna will spill over the edges and burn to a crisp at the bottom of the oven if you don’t put foil down.

The lasagna looks decent enough and I hope it tastes at least a little like lasagna because my father in law will be stuck choking it down here in about an hour.

So you all surely remember that I’m the chubby one…  Well then you also know I live for sweets.  I started browsing through Pinterest and saw this super easy recipe for some “healthy” peanut butter cookies.  I actually had the required ingredients and decided to make them.

I dolloped about 8 scoops of peanut butter goop onto the pan. I set the timer for 8 minutes and decided to check them at that point.  Sadly, this is what I found.

And more smoke is what I smelled.

How could this happen?????  I decided to try it again and take pictures for a better reference.

Again I plopped them onto a pan.

And again they grew into the biggest, flattest cookies ever.

I swear to you I followed the directions to the tee. They are pretty stinking easy. It would be difficult, one would assume, to mess them up.

It says they are only 36 calories per cookie.  Which is believable and may very well be true considering they are flat as a board.

So I have come to the conclusion that while the cookies below look delicious, they failed to post the recipe to make them.

Pinterest fail.

Wait, What?! pt.2

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Do you ever have those moments where you do something really stupid and you honest to goodness have NO legitimate excuse for doing it? No? Oh, me either. That’s because I can ALWAYS come up with a perfectly perfect excuse!  Like when I attempted to open the elevator door with my car keys, you can read about that here.

I like to call these my “Wait, what?!” moments.  I am no expert, but I believe I had another one of those lovely moments this past Sunday when I was involved in a hit and run  shameful roll. WHAT?! Cheri was the victim of a horrific crime?! YES, YES I WAS! I know, everyone should feel super bad for me. I know you’re asking yourself “Who in their right mind committed this violent offense?” Well, now would be the appropriate time to tuck your emotions back into your pocket and stop feeling sorry for poor little me. “Why?”  you may ask. “Probably because she is so brave and such a fighter…” you may assume.  However, you would be wrong in that assumption. The ugly truth is I was both the perpetrator and victim. (head hangs in shame…but then tilts slightly upward in pure curiosity)

So here’s what happened…

At approximately 2:40 on Sunday afternoon I was headed to a baby shower.  I don’t have a lot of friends here (this isn’t my home town and I’m sort of an introvert, I told you about that here) and those I’m closest to have moved far away, so the opportunity to go meet and mingle with other women was very exciting to me. I even bought the baby shower gift far (about 4 days) in advance rather than on the way, that never happens. Its been sitting in our fancy new-to-us van just waiting to be given to the awesome new (for the 5th time) mom to be. PS She’s super awesome and you can find her blog here.

I finally got the baby to sleep and the bald man had the day off so he was going to watch the little man for me. My red head was at her dad’s house which meant I get to go all by myself (woo, hoo!).  I thought about taking our trusty old Matrix but it had been sitting in the driveway (a fact apparently easily forgotten) and it was over 110 degrees out and I didn’t want to show up a sweaty mess. So I jumped into the van.  I was not on my phone, nor was I messing with the radio or exuding any other distracting behavior.

I opened the garage door, threw it in reverse, and started to back out.  Then all of a sudden I heard a muffled CRASH!  “What was that?” I thought. I looked back and saw my poor little Matrix. For just a split second I wondered if any of my neighbors had seen what had just occurred.  I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t even get out of the van so I just beeped the horn until the bald one, who used to think so highly of me, came out.

He saw the damage and just looked at me. No words. Not a sound. Pure shock, I assume.  I got out and told him I backed into the car, as if he didn’t realize that already.

I stood there between the cars and started to cry because I could just see the dollar signs beginning to emerge, I could almost hear the “ching ching!” He just hugged me in silence. I was like the kid who realized what they had done and the parents felt too bad to punish them.

Oh, I should mention that earlier last week I noticed damage to our van, I thought we had been rear ended by the most petite and polite car ever because it only left this damage.

But, I knew from prior experience with my cute little Matrix, that those teeny scrapes can quickly turn into a lot more if not fixed. So we decided to just suck it up and take it in next week to get fixed.  We also realized that while the damage was done by something petite and polite, it was not a car. But rather my vanity we just bought the other day and obviously dragged  along the bumper in the move in/out.  Sure is an awesome piece of furniture though don’t ya think?

But anyways, back to the story.

Good thing we hadn’t taken the van in to the shop just yet since it now looks like this.

Made me feel slightly better that I only damaged the exact piece that was already damaged.

Two birds with one stone, right? Nope. And here’s why.

You should also know that about 4 years ago I rolled my Matrix into the babysitter’s house. Come to find out it is both very necessary to put your vehicle in park before vacating it and also to fix the teeny tiny scrapes or the paint will in fact peel.

If memory serves you well, you’ll remember that we were also attacked by a rogue deer the night we got fake engaged.   So needless to say, but our poor car has surely been showing her age as of late.

But wait, take a look to where I damaged the poor thing…exactly where it had already been damaged and nowhere else.

Nice.

Now I just needed to see how my insurance company was going to feel about the whole situation.

They called me back the first thing Monday morning and told me this happens all the time, I appreciate those kinds of lies.

They also told me that I cannot be both the victim and the one at fault.  So, I will need to pay our deductible on the van since I was at fault. However, since the Matrix is merely a victim in this situation, I am not responsible for paying for anything. Thank the Lord! We only have to pay slightly more than what we would’ve paid for the paint repair anyway.

You know what I call that?

THREE birds, ONE stone.