Wait, What?! pt.2


Do you ever have those moments where you do something really stupid and you honest to goodness have NO legitimate excuse for doing it? No? Oh, me either. That’s because I can ALWAYS come up with a perfectly perfect excuse!  Like when I attempted to open the elevator door with my car keys, you can read about that here.

I like to call these my “Wait, what?!” moments.  I am no expert, but I believe I had another one of those lovely moments this past Sunday when I was involved in a hit and run  shameful roll. WHAT?! Cheri was the victim of a horrific crime?! YES, YES I WAS! I know, everyone should feel super bad for me. I know you’re asking yourself “Who in their right mind committed this violent offense?” Well, now would be the appropriate time to tuck your emotions back into your pocket and stop feeling sorry for poor little me. “Why?”  you may ask. “Probably because she is so brave and such a fighter…” you may assume.  However, you would be wrong in that assumption. The ugly truth is I was both the perpetrator and victim. (head hangs in shame…but then tilts slightly upward in pure curiosity)

So here’s what happened…

At approximately 2:40 on Sunday afternoon I was headed to a baby shower.  I don’t have a lot of friends here (this isn’t my home town and I’m sort of an introvert, I told you about that here) and those I’m closest to have moved far away, so the opportunity to go meet and mingle with other women was very exciting to me. I even bought the baby shower gift far (about 4 days) in advance rather than on the way, that never happens. Its been sitting in our fancy new-to-us van just waiting to be given to the awesome new (for the 5th time) mom to be. PS She’s super awesome and you can find her blog here.

I finally got the baby to sleep and the bald man had the day off so he was going to watch the little man for me. My red head was at her dad’s house which meant I get to go all by myself (woo, hoo!).  I thought about taking our trusty old Matrix but it had been sitting in the driveway (a fact apparently easily forgotten) and it was over 110 degrees out and I didn’t want to show up a sweaty mess. So I jumped into the van.  I was not on my phone, nor was I messing with the radio or exuding any other distracting behavior.

I opened the garage door, threw it in reverse, and started to back out.  Then all of a sudden I heard a muffled CRASH!  “What was that?” I thought. I looked back and saw my poor little Matrix. For just a split second I wondered if any of my neighbors had seen what had just occurred.  I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t even get out of the van so I just beeped the horn until the bald one, who used to think so highly of me, came out.

He saw the damage and just looked at me. No words. Not a sound. Pure shock, I assume.  I got out and told him I backed into the car, as if he didn’t realize that already.

I stood there between the cars and started to cry because I could just see the dollar signs beginning to emerge, I could almost hear the “ching ching!” He just hugged me in silence. I was like the kid who realized what they had done and the parents felt too bad to punish them.

Oh, I should mention that earlier last week I noticed damage to our van, I thought we had been rear ended by the most petite and polite car ever because it only left this damage.

But, I knew from prior experience with my cute little Matrix, that those teeny scrapes can quickly turn into a lot more if not fixed. So we decided to just suck it up and take it in next week to get fixed.  We also realized that while the damage was done by something petite and polite, it was not a car. But rather my vanity we just bought the other day and obviously dragged  along the bumper in the move in/out.  Sure is an awesome piece of furniture though don’t ya think?

But anyways, back to the story.

Good thing we hadn’t taken the van in to the shop just yet since it now looks like this.

Made me feel slightly better that I only damaged the exact piece that was already damaged.

Two birds with one stone, right? Nope. And here’s why.

You should also know that about 4 years ago I rolled my Matrix into the babysitter’s house. Come to find out it is both very necessary to put your vehicle in park before vacating it and also to fix the teeny tiny scrapes or the paint will in fact peel.

If memory serves you well, you’ll remember that we were also attacked by a rogue deer the night we got fake engaged.   So needless to say, but our poor car has surely been showing her age as of late.

But wait, take a look to where I damaged the poor thing…exactly where it had already been damaged and nowhere else.


Now I just needed to see how my insurance company was going to feel about the whole situation.

They called me back the first thing Monday morning and told me this happens all the time, I appreciate those kinds of lies.

They also told me that I cannot be both the victim and the one at fault.  So, I will need to pay our deductible on the van since I was at fault. However, since the Matrix is merely a victim in this situation, I am not responsible for paying for anything. Thank the Lord! We only have to pay slightly more than what we would’ve paid for the paint repair anyway.

You know what I call that?

THREE birds, ONE stone.


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